Finding more out about ourselves is a task worth sacrificing for. I got to thinking about how I like to work, because searching for a job during the coronavirus pandemic is what older generations may call ,”searching for a needle in a hay stack.” Oh and I’m aware I just called out older generations for their vocabulary, but I’m normally impressed by how people spoke before social media. Because words were still elegant then. However, back to my point, there are plenty of straws to grab a hold of when searching in the hay stack, but odds are, the needle can only be found if it’s gently threaded. (also, this must be before I rip away each individual straw from the hay stack because I’m so Goddamn frustrated)
Dear Lord, forgive me for using your name in vein, but holy f (wo)man, we can only take so much!
In attempting to thread my needle, I have discovered how I like to work in a physically warm environment. While I didn’t realize it before, I have always attempted to make my life’s performance more effective by pleasing this sense of mine. I fell in love working at the golf course because I could see the beautiful green grass, and feel the heat from the sun. Plus, the need for random physical tasks to keep my mind fresh. Upon realizing this, I questioned myself, how is it that MY dream has been to work in an office, making minimal pay, working with people, and entertaining policy all day? Offices are so cold, dark, and surrounded by other people who are also cold, dark, and uncomfortable 24/7. In addition to that, the policy keeps us from our basic human need for autonomy. Clearly there was a major mis-communication, somewhere, when I told myself that, THAT, was my dream. Because reality is, we can produce meaningful work, comfortably, in many other ways, but we truly know how to do our best work. Whether that be intimate gatherings with colleagues sharing a beer, or cuddled up with a faux furry blanket next to a warm light, soft music, and random bursts of energy that can be burned off by a light walk, new physical task, or challenging project.
For example, while writing this, I am comforted by the sound of my best friend chatting on FaceTime, two lamps on both sides of me, a window open full of sunshine, blue sky, and leaves blowing in the wind. I am also covered by a white cozy throw blanket from Sam’s Club that keeps me completely warm, and my other friend is just steps away. Who brings me glasses of wine, fast food, and eye drops, because I am busy typing out my ideas for you readers. It almost sounds similar to how we describe other culture’s etiquette, where they only choose to work after pleasuring their senses by sharing a beer at a pub, or eating a delicious meal together in a warm restaurant, and where you have to pee constantly as you repeatedly have steins of full cold beer handed to you. I’m also always feeling extra nice when I’m in a lovely cozy setting and drinking a beer so I have to assume these culture’s may be on to something.
The idea today is, if there’s anything lockdown can teach you, it is to find pleasure in the simplest means, and there, you will find what you were meant to do, called to be, and the epitome of bliss. However, we must make this sacrifice in order to come out of this better than we were before.
I’ve challenged myself to do this everyday, I will find myself a safe space for working that day, and I will dedicate time to complete said work, all while sacrificing most all of my loves. What do you think? Are the odds in my favor? Likely no, but if there’s one thing I can control, it’s my attitude toward said sacrifices. This is actually another task I have been trained to manage; my raw emotions. If I could just love all day long, I’d do that for sure, but instead I must share my gifts and talents with others because we simply cannot function in isolation. So, tell me, what has yesterday, this week, or tomorrow brought you that has been ridiculously difficult for no apparent reason? and is it worth being upset over?
