In order to become a manager, or a leader, you must become what some would say, “skillfully transparent.” This is a talent that most individuals understand at some level. However, this talent is also exceptionally rare to be incredible at. To be skillfully transparent also means to lead those around you to this level of transparency. When I think of a leader, I imagine someone who carries themself with confidence, grace, drive, grit, humility, and genuine purpose. I have always seen glimpses of greatness in leaders around me. I dedicate moments in each day to practicing this level of greatness, but I am not always successful.
This message is not unique because, well, I’m still here waiting in the middle of my virtual lobby ready to be called for my next adventure. I practice patience over, and over until I get it right. Longing for greatness is a pursuit all of us have. We experience obstacles everyday but since another human being was able to master this, we jump in without consciously entering the task appropriately. Say you’re entertaining at your place, you have roommates(or family, pets, etc.) that have needs that come before your own in order for the evening to go smoothly, you prepare as best you can, and prepare yourself for worst case scenarios just in case. Women always prepare for worst case scenarios, must be our instincts. So, back to the roommates, go ahead and clean up after them first, groom them if you must, meal prep, vacuum, sweep, dishes, whatever you can, then set the house up for guests. If you have time, ask your people for favors like picking up ingredients, drinks, or other last minute needs. If you’ve ever had to host before, you know there’s a lot that goes in to greatness and there is a lot that goes wrong. Either way, move on to a different obstacle that you’re not quite as prepared for, say a pandemic, hahahhahaha. Sorry, I had to mention it. What are you doing now? Did you prep enough? Did you ever guess you’d need to stay sane in just this little amount of space and time? How well thought out is your madness and messiness?
Unfortunately, I have to admit, my madness is very well thought out. I look out for myself on the daily. I set boundaries and I stick to them. I do not let people erk me when I know they had good intentions. I understand everyone’s an idiot because I’m an idiot. Cue the scene of The Grinch where he yells to the canyon, “I’m an idiot,” and the canyon echos, “You’re an idiot!” Interestingly enough, this helps me to better. Acknowledging my mistakes is important, and we Minnesotans know how to apologize for our mistakes. Ope didn’t see ya there! Ope my bad. Oopsie daisies. I’m so sorry. Ahhh fuck! My bad. We do it too often, wouldn’t ya know! In order to move past these mistakes, we must take the meanings of acknowledgement and apologizing and separate them. When I apologize, you will know it, because an apology, to me, is not just simply the words coming out of my mouth. My apologies are very similar to what I write to a family friend after their loved one has passed away. Because apologies are that heavy! With deepest condolences, acknowledge, praise, apologize, and promise. Let’s call it APAP, lol!
If my brother did something wrong, we both know it. If I did something wrong(ha never happens jk), we both know it. We separate ourselves from each other, because we need space to think clearly and not be clouded with judgements. Once we put ourselves in the other’s shoes, we’re a little more graceful than our usual grumpy selves. We laugh, we hug, and move on. We love the other so much, sometimes too much, we want to throat punch them or gut wrench them until they realize how amazing they truly are. We are a lot more alike than we think. I’ve practiced this all too much because he believes it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. So, when in simple situations like events at home, grocery store’s or just at home, we walk about our daily lives as effortlessly as possible. Grant each other grace to be better, to achieve greatness. An apology is only necessary if the apologizer’s intentions are to change. If you’re not willing to sacrifice and put effort into changing, then do not apologize. If you truly care for the person, you wont need an apology because we are all human and we make mistakes everyday.
If you made it this far, thank you! You reading and acknowledging my work is incredible. I do not need praise, but maybe a friend that knows a friend that knows anyone in california. Sometimes we all just need a friend, a kind face, a known acquaintance to home, and we’ll feel a little more comfortable asking questions like, “hey i think i need help, are you around?” This is a skill not all of us have but we can practice it. Being a leader is being skillfully transparent. Other peoples experiences are very useful, and I’d bet money on the fact that if you got to know your neighbors a little better today, you’d learn something new for tomorrow. I have to tell myself, be a leader, not a follower.
See ya later fools! Back to learning, again, and making friends.
