People perceive pain differently. One person may think, pain can be only physical. Another, may be suffering with the worst mental pain possible. I don’t want to be the one that says the first person is wrong, but I want to tell the second it’s going to be okay.
Since I’ve been working in the hospital setting, I’ve gotten to learn more about pain. Since I’ve also had the hardest year, I’ve gotten to try new ways to ease mental pain. It’s a special time in my life, where I feel as if I’m in a waiting room. I’m saying special because I’m trying to be positive about my situation. I was on the phone with my Grandpa the other day, and his response to me was, “my gosh, when are things going to go right for Natty Anne?” And I cried. I held it together to say goodbye, and I cried, hard. Not only have I felt like that statement was true for a while, but I never wanted others to see it. I want to feel special. So, I’m going to say, this is a fricken great time to be in this damn waiting room.
Anyway, I’ve been thinking about mental pain and the damage it can cause. Once someone is damaged, is there a way to feel better? Or is someone considered damaged goods once they’ve been hurt? As far as physical pain goes, I read about interpreting pain in those that can’t easily tell us when they are in pain. First, check their facial expression, then their legs, followed by their amount of activity, their cry, and finally whether or not they can be consoled. Do they feel better when they are comforted by a touch, hug or someone talking to them?
Once I read that, I thought about my everyday life right now. I go through the day waiting for someone to talk to me. Since I can’t be comforted by a touch or hug all day long, I hope that a certain someone will talk to me. I reach out to my close friends asking for comfort and conversation to fill the void. It’s scary, really. But for some reason, I think it’s going to be okay. The damage I carry isn’t something that will go away, but it can be healed by a smile, a cry, a touch, a hug, and a talk. Maybe many of those, but I’ll feel better some day. It’s okay that people see it too. Sometimes it’s easier for others to see your pain before you can tell them about it. Not everyone may perceive your pain the same, but that’s just a minor detail.
I’m thankful everyday that I get to be in this waiting room. I get to learn more about myself and others everyday. I have a weird feeling that the more I talk, and share, the more I can help others feel better too. So, I hope today, is a pain free Friday. So, smile, or cry, or hug whomever you need to feel okay. Even if it’s just for a day.
